Friday, February 13, 2009

MY SHINY COINS

What better day than Friday, the 13th to christen my blog? I choose to believe that rather than bad luck, this day signifies additional electric magic in the air. A deeper shade of night this evening, with a brighter moon and magic in the air, making our ordinary lives and loves suddenly come to light......

My thoughts today are such a mix of the mundane and the magical and my emotions mixed between despair and delight. Valentine's Day is tomorrow and it should be interesting to find out what is revealed and what is hidden. Then too soon, my birthday will be here, on Wednesday this year, and birthdays are for me always days of regret. I regret the passing of time too quickly and while I try to hide this behind the bubbles of the champagne and the too sweet sugary taste of the frosting, the regret always somehow slips in, like the fears that slip into our dreams at night.

That particular kind of despair is always there on the fringes of my mind and only slips away when my magical moments appear. These magic moments always surprise me, it could be the light reflections on the lake, the smell of wood smoke in the air, or the colors of the flowers that sets it off. Whatever the stimulus it is always the same, the same magical feel that I can finally feel the happiness, that it was always right there all along. But then just as the bubbles in the champagne tend to pop, so does that sheer feeling of happiness as it settles back in to the thoughts of things that must be dealt with.

Of course, the stuff of life such as making lists and plans, dealing with business and pleasure and everything in between is what keeps my mind occupied so that despair can't quite be felt. It numbs things enough so that I always have something else to focus on instead. My passions and thoughts jump from one thing to another, as my daughter refers to me, I am a bird with a shiny coin, always jumping to the next thing that catches my eye.

These days my shiny coins are writing The Lost Girl Chronicles, completing my BA in Interior Design, trying to organize my home with things like labels and boxes, nature walks and reading every book I can get my hands on. These are my hobbies in life, the things that grab my attention and consume my thoughts. These are the things I will probably write about in this blog along with my bright bubbles of happiness along the way.

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