THE CLASSIC RETRO THANKSGIVING OR THE I AM TOO DAMN TIRED TO COOK THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK BUT ITS A HOLIDAY AND WE HAVE TO EAT EARLY BECAUSE WE HAVE TO GET TO WALMART TO CAMP OUT FOR THE SALES MENU

THANKSGIVING MENU

BEVERAGES

SODA AND WINE
(hit trader joes for the wine)


APPETIZERS & EXTRA STUFF

RELISH TRAY OF CELERY, OLIVES, RADISHES
(another duh because its thanksgiving)


CRANBERRY SAUCE
(straight outta the trailer oh I mean can...)

ROLLS AND BUTTER
(frozen rolls you throw in the oven served with coronary inducing amounts of butter)

MAIN DISH

MAX'S FAVORITE TURKEY 
(the ULTIMATE turkey - kind of like a turkey super hero)

SIDE DISHES

SOUL FOOD MACARONI AND CHEESE 
(this and my turkey recipe no one will even care if there is other food)

COPYCAT GREEN GIANT NIBLETS IN BUTTER SAUCE 
(cheap i like that)

CHEATING STUFFING
(secret family recipe)

GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE 
(because its thanksgiving duh)

MASH POTATOES
(serve with canned gravy i am not a martyr)


DESSERTS

LIBBY'S FAMOUS PUMPKIN PIE 
(serve with mounds of whipped cream so much you don't know if there is pie underneath)

BERRY PIE
(thank you Marie Callendar for blessing us with your frozen pies)

MAX'S FAVORITE TURKEY 

This recipe is my son Max's favorite. He tells me before I better not leave this earth before making sure he has the turkey recipe :)

 1 turkey

• 2 tablespoons soul seasoning (or similar multi spice mixture such as sylvia's secret seasoning, emeril's seasoning, etc)
• 2 tablespoons Old Bay Seasoning
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon poultry seasoning
• 1/2 teaspoon thyme
• 1/4 cup butter
• 1 cup turkey broth

1. Blend all spices and rub into turkey – you may need to double this formulation depending on the size of your turkey. Place butter into turkey roasting pan and place turkey upside smashing it into the butter. Bake at 350 in this position uncovered for one hour. After one hour turn over turkey add a sprinkling of more spices to the top of the turkey. Add a can of turkey broth and continue to baste while cooking.

Soul Food Macaroni and Cheese 

SERVES 8 -10

• 10 ounces elbow macaroni
• 1 (8 ounce) package shredded sharp cheddar cheese (2cups)
• 1 (8 ounce) package Velveeta cheese, pasteurized processed cheese, cut up (1 cup)
• 1/4 cup butter, cut into pieces
• 3 eggs, slightly beaten
• 1 (12 ounce) can evaporated milk
• 1 (10 3/4 ounce) can condensed cheddar cheese soup
• 1/4 teaspoon seasoning salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground pepper (white if you have it)

1. Let cheeses and butter stand at room temperature.
2. Cook macaroni according to package directions until almost al dente'.
3. Drain macaroni and transfer to a large bowl.
4. Add 1 cup shredded cheese and Velveeta cubes to hot pasta and stir gently til cheeses start to melt.
5. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk the eggs, butter, milk, soup, salt and pepper.
6. Stir this mixture into the cooked macaroni mixture.
7. Transfer half into a 13x9 sprayed baking dish.
8. Sprinkle with 1/2 cup of shredded cheese.
9. Top with remaining macaroni mixture.
10. Bake covered at 325 degrees for 30 minutes.
11. Uncover.
12. Sprinkle with remaining 1/2 cup of shredded cheese.
13. Return to oven and bake 15 minutes more until cheese is melted and bubbly brown.
14. Let stand 10 minutes before serving to meld flavors.

Copycat Green Giant Niblets Corn 

SERVES 10 -12

• 2 (16 ounce) bags frozen corn (yellow "or" shoepeg white, any brand)
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 1/2 cup butter, cut up
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 1 cup water
• 1 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch

1. Add corn to large sauce pan along with all ingredients except water and cornstarch.
2. Stir corn mixture over medium heat until butter is melted.
3. Combine water and cornstarch and stir until cornstarch is disolved.
4. Slowly add water to corn in sauce pan, stirring constantly.
5. Reduce heat to simmer and stir until sauce thickens.
6. Let simmer, stirring occasionally, until corn is tender, about 10 minutes.

Thanksgiving Stuffing 

SERVES 6

• 2 medium onions, minced
• 2-3 stalks celery, chopped fine
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 teaspoon poultry seasoning
• 2 cups chicken broth or turkey broth or vegetable broth
• hot water
• 2 (6 ounce) packages stove top-style seasoned stuffing mix

1. Saute onions and celery in butter.
2. Sprinkle with poultry seasoning.
3. Set aside to cool slightly.
4. Toss this mixture into your favorite dry stuffing mix.
5. Heat broth and set aside.
6. Read directions on your favorite stuffing mix box.
7. Add enough hot water to the broth to make up the required liquid needed.
8. (Omit butter the recipe calls for as it was already used to saute vegetables.)
9. Pour over stuffing/vegetables mixture and mix well.
10. Stuff your chicken or turkey. For a side dish place stuffing in a baking dish; cover and bake for 15 to 25 minutes at 325 degrees Fahrenheit.

Green Bean Casserole 

SERVES 6

• 10 3/4 ounces cream of mushroom soup
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 teaspoon soy sauce
• 1 dash pepper
• 1 (16 ounce) bag frozen green beans, thawed, not cooked
• 1 1/3 cups french French-fried onions, divided

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a 1 1/2 quart casserole, mix soup, milk, soy sauce, pepper, green beans and 2/3 cup fried onions.
3. Bake for 25 minutes or until hot.
4. Stir then sprinkle with remaining onions and bake for 5 minutes.
5. TIP: instead of the 16 ounce package frozen green beans, you can use; 2 9 ounce packages of frozen green beans, 2 16 ounce cans green beans or 1 1/2 pounds fresh green beans.

Libby's Famous Pumpkin Pie 

SERVES 8 , 1 pie

• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon (See note)
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger (See note)
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves (See note)
• 2 large eggs
• 1 (15 ounce) can libby's 100% pumpkin puree
• 1 (12 ounce) can Carnation Evaporated Milk
• 1 unbaked 9-inch deep dish pie pastry
• whipped cream (optional)

1. Note: Substitute 1-3/4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice instead of cinnamon, ginger, and cloves; the taste will be slightly different.
2. Preheat oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.
3. Mix sugar, salt, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves in small bowl.
4. Beat eggs in large bowl.
5. Stir in pumpkin and sugar-spice mixture.
6. Gradually stir in evaporated milk.
7. Pour mixture into pie shell.
8. Bake at 425 degrees Fahrenheit for 15 minutes.
9. Reduce temperature to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
10. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes or until knife inserted near center comes out clean.
11. Cool on wire rack for 2 hours.
12. Serve immediately or refrigerate.
13. Top with whipped cream before serving for best results!
14. Do not overcook; overcooking leads to pie cracking in the middle.
15. Try to bake the day you will serve the pie. Cooking in advance can make the crust soggy. If you have to bake a day before serving, pop the pie in the oven for 5 to 10 minutes and it should bring the crust back to life!